Thursday, December 11, 2008

You and Life : By Renuka

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christmas_night_by_frecklefaced29
“Are you sure? you want to go there?”, asked Archana shockingly.

There is no answer from Kavitha. She seems to be lost in her own world.
Archana asked the same again. Kavitha slowly lowered her eyes and said “Yes”.
“Butt..do you think you can really manage?”, asked Archana wanting her to say NO. But, Kavitha simply nodded her head positively.
Archana is still not convinced & said, “Hmm…No..i fear you may break down there”. This time Kavitha is persistent. She raised her head and said, “Archana…I’m going to go there..and I want you to support me as my good friend”
Yes, Archana is a good friend to Kavitha and she was there supporting her all through. They both work in a Candle making factory as daily labour and they both have different backgrounds. But they share a very good relationship and help each other, as needed. This time, Archana did not want to stop her. She made her mind to be with her friend. She asked slowly, “OK, at what time do you have to be there?”
There is a visible glow in Kavitha’s face. “8:30, 8:30 is the meeting. I will catch 7:45 bus, so I can be there before 10 minutes”.
“OK, are you going to meet me after the meeting”, asked Archana.
“Sure, I will straight come to your house from the meeting”
Archana sighed and started to leave saying, “OK, meet me tomorrow then”.
Kavitha was watching her friend leave; Archana looked back, stopped for a while and came back near to Kavitha. “Take care, don’t loose yourself”, said Archana and left briskly without looking back.


Its 8:15. Kavitha is watching the board to read “Vithanthu Sabha”. There is a distressful smile appeared on her face for a while. She slowly walked in to that building, looked around for a chair to sit. There are about 20-25 women seated there within the age group of 30-45. She made herself seated in a chair nearby.

Its 8:30, and there is an announcement made letting everyone aware of Aparna’s arrival. Aparna, herself is a widow who initiated and organized this meeting. Kavitha looked at her & got some feeling that she already knew her. Aparna seems to be very simple and is around 32yrs. She got prepared to talk on the dias & took the mic into her hands. Everone were eager to listen what Aparna has to say.

“Good morning to everyone. I’m glad that you responded to the advertisement i gave in newspapers and appreciate you coming here. The intention to organize this meeting is not to degrade anyone. But we all must accept that we are cheated by god in our early ages. It is really tough to go through this miserable phase. We have responsibilities to carry ahead and at the same obstructions from the society. We face a lot of difficulties to include “overloaded sympathy”, ”exploitation”, “financial troubles”, “unnecessary & unjustified analysis of our behavior”, “Custom made restrictions”, “loneliness” and so many other things too. Sometimes, we feel to explore ourselves to someone who can understand and support us. But you don’t find any one like that. Sometimes you go into huge depression and conclude ourselves that there is no reason to continue our lives”

“I gathered all of you hoping to give a platform to explore yourselves and share your thoughts with the people who can understand you in the right way. This was the reason i called in for early aged widows. Please share yourselves, give suggestions to others in facing the life positively. Thank you. And, there will be a contribution of 1, 00,000Rs at the end to the person chosen.”

All through her speech, there were no emotions shown on her face. She seemed to be very neutral. Kavitha is in admiration to her.

Aparna started to call participants, and the first happens to be a woman named, “Suvarchala”. Suvarchala slowly walked on to the dais and started to speak.

“I, I do not know where to start and where to end. My life is full of problems since the beginning. My father is very strict to me and never tried to understand my feelings. As a result, I had to get married at the age of 17 discontinuing my studies. After the marriage, I thought all my troubles before the marriage are over. He was very sweet to me and we had two kids aswell. One day, on the way return to home he met with an accident, andd andd he is no more. At that time, my first kid was in 2nd class and the younger one is in UKG. And I have no education to support myself. I do not have any clue about my husband’s financials. Now I am living with my parents. I face a lot of discrimination from society and within home itself. I had to wake up at 4:30 in the morning, do all house chores, take care of not my kids alone, but both of my brother’s kids also. The whole day passes off without even a minute’s relaxation. I was never being called for any functions, more over, I don’t feel like going. The only reason for me to live is my kids. If they would have not been there, I would have ended my life along with my husband”.
And she continued to talk, but Kavitha was staring in blank. She came in to the real world when she heard the weeping of Suvarchala and looked around. Everyone else were also in the same mood as her’s.

Next one to speak is “Ravali”. She started to speak…

“My past life still seems to be a dream for me. My father is a famous business man and my parents got everything I needed. When I am done with my post graduation, I got married with a highly qualified person. He was very good at his heart, used to pamper me as my parents used to. I never knew that 5yrs passed off, until we realized the cancer growing in his body which was in advanced stage already. I was 4months pregnant by that time. We tried all our best to save him. My father insisted me to get aborted, and that’s when I hated him for first time in my life. I was trying to save him in all possible ways, we went to all famous doctors but still we lost him. After two months, I delivered my baby girl who is 4yrs now. Till date, my father keeps asking me to marry the person of his choice to start a new life. But, I’m not convinced. Not sure of the reason, but I am not. This is my story. I find myself complicated.”, Ravali got down from the dais with an abrupt ending.

Kavitha sighed for a while, she knows why. She continued to hear the versions from all the rest of the crowd and slowly drowned into the helpless phase.

“May I please ask Kavitha to come to the dais and share her opinions with us”, Aparna was calling in a soft voice. Kavitha is in her own world.
Aparna repeated, “Kavitha, Could you please come upon and share your views here?”
This time, the woman next to Kavitha tapped on her shoulders and asked, “Are you Kavitha?”
“Yesss, but Why?”, asked kavitha in confusion.
“They are calling you from a very long time, please go”

Kavitha looked around for a while, and recollected where she is and what ‘s happening around. She stood up quickly and walked towards the dais hurriedly, reached Aparna and said “Yes, I am Kavitha”
“OK, Please carry on”, said Aparna handing over the mike. She did observe that Kavitha is trembling. She lowered the voice and said, “Don’t worry, Kavitha. We are all sailing in the same boat”
Kavitha nodded her head slowly and started to speak.

“Good morning, Everyone. After hearing to all the people around me, I feel I am no different. But what I would like to tell you all now is that God knows how to balance things in life. Few of you have money, few have people to care you, few have education and I have courage and hope to live. I became an Orphan when I am 10yrs, due to the road accident. I lost both my parents and stood alone in the middle of the road. I was studying 5th class at that time, and had no option to continue it later. I joined in a candle making factory after surviving several nights in hungry. I’m thankful to the management of factory; otherwise I would have not been alive today. I met my husband 5yrs back in the same factory, and married him with no difficulty because he was also an Orphan. We both were making good life together, but 11months back, one day on the way to work, a heavy loaded lorry hit him, andd…. andd he is dead on the spot. I’m back to my original life. But I’m thankful to the god, because he showed me how beautiful the life would be when am with him."

“I’m fine for the God’s short term blessings. I’m working now, I do not have to be before any one to help me survive. I do have some people with whom I share cordial relationships, though not blood. I do have some people around me trying to exploit me, butt, butt……, I’m never afraid to face them. God has given me the courage to face those tough situations and I learnt to keep myself safe all through these years. I have the sweet memories that are living along with me and will continue to be with me for the rest of the life”

There is silence all around that place. No one is really able to talk.

Aparna slowly walked up to the dais and took the mic from Kavitha, with an appreciation passing through her eyes.

Now it’s the time to announce who to receive the cash contribution of 1,00,000Rs. Everyone was eager to listen who would be receiving that money, making wild guesses within.

To everyone’s surprise, Aparna has announced the name “Kavitha” and called her to the stage to receive the money.

“I know all of you must be wondering why I passed on this money to Kavitha. I also know that you all must be having a word to tell me. Well, how about meeting next month on the same date to share the thoughts that are making rounds in your brains? I’m open to take your views into my consideration and more over with this, we all get another chance to gather & open up ourselves here for sometime”, Paused Aparna waiting to hear the response.

There are few who did not respond, but she could hear “Yes”, coming in low voice from few.

“OK, let us handover this cheque of 1,00,000Rs to kavitha now”, Said Aparna handing over the cheque to Kavitha. Kavitha was speechless. Tears in Kavitha’s eyes did not go unnoticed from Aparna.

After that, all have started to leave for lunch. Aparna took Kavitha’s hand into hers, pressed slowly looking into her eyes. Kavitha’s heart is filled with assurance and she said, “Thanks”.

“Lets go for the lunch”, asked Kavtiha not leaving Aparna’s hand.

“No, actually!. I will need to leave now. I have some work”, said Kavitha in hesistation without knowing how Aparna responds.

“That’s fine, its just for 15-20 minutes”, Aparna compelled.

“No, Aparna. I need to leave. Please…Please understand. I have work”, said Kavitha in pleasing manner.

Aparna could sense the honesty ressembling in Kavitha’s face and said, “OK, please carry on. But I would love to meet you sometime later”

There is a sign of relief on Kavitha’s face, she said “Sure, Sure” in thankful tone and left.

After a month……

Aparna finished picking up the groceries from the supermarket and moved forward to billing counter. While the boy at cash counter is doing the billing, she casually turned her head towards the road, and to her surprise, it is KAVITHA who is walking on the road…..Aparna could not believe her eyes for sometime, there is a difference visible in Kavitha.

She wanted to meet her, but the sales boy handed over the bill to her. She quickly paid the bill, dumped all the groceries into the car, locked the car and started walking to reach Kavitha.

All these while Aparna was thinking about the change visible in Kavitha. She is no more a widow now. Aparna is feeling happy because she started the new life, but at one corner of her heart, she could not believe that Kavitha got married again in this very less time. After all, it’s just a year after Kavitha’s husband had passed away. But, she is anxious to know what had happened.

Aparna followed Kavitha shouting her name loudly, but, Kavitha could not hear her calling. Aparna started to walk fast, but she could see Kavitha entering into a small hut house. Aparna is at relief, she knows her house now, she walked slowly and reached the house. She wants to surprise Kavitha, so, without knocking the door she entered into the house. But she is shocked by looking at what is visible there.

Kavitha is trying to help a person who is on bed to drink water. For a while, she is at confusion. “Is he the person she married now?”, there are a lot of questions running in her mind. Aparna turned her head towards the door, and equally shocked to see Aparna standing there.

“Aparna, you and here???”, asked Kavitha in surprise. She seems to be disturbed with Aparna’s presence there.

“Yes, I saw you near the supermarket and wanted to say “Hi”, but you didn’t look at me, so I followed you and came here”, Said Aparna starring at the person on bed.

“Rajesh, She is Aparna, a kind hearted person who helped us in paying your surgery expenses”, Kavitha introduced to the person on bed.

“Thank you very much, Madam. We can never forget your help in our life time”, Said Rajesh with a sign of gratitude on his face.

Aparna is even more confused now. So, its understood that Aparna used that money to help this person. But who is he? She is an Orphan, so what is the relationship between Rajesh & Kavitha? More over, Kavitha is not looking like a widow now?

Kavitha could guess the feelings of Aparna. She wants to break the ice.

“Rajesh, we will be outside. If you need anything, please call”, Said Aparna and walked out of the house without letting anyone to speak.

Aparna followed Kavitha.

“Aparna, I know you want to ask me something. Rajesh is my husband”

There is no response from Aparna.

“I also know that you want to ask me why I have to marry a person who is in that condition”, Said Kavitha looking at Aparna.

Aparna slowly nodded her head.

“I have to tell you a lot of things now,”, Kavitha continued

“He is Rajesh whom I married 5 years ago. One year back, he met with an accident and his spinal cord got hit. He got admitted into hospital, but doctors had a very little hope of his survival. But, god’s grace is with me. Doctors could save his life, but could not do anything with his broken spinal cord. They suggested for a surgery to handle that, but where do I get money for surgery. I’m happy that he is alive. He cannot get up from the bed and move around, but, I can see him, I can talk to him, I can share my feelings with him. And I am always there to take care of him. If not like my husband, like my kid”, stopped Kavitha trying hard to control herself.

Aparna did not know how to respond.

Kavitha went inside, had a glass of water, checked if everything is fine for Rajesh and came out again.

“But, one month back he was having severe pain in back, we had to rush to the hospital. Doctors did some tests and told me that a surgery needs to happen urgently to handle the infection that got developed around the broken spinal cord. If not, his life is at stake. I do not know what to do, but, I am not ready to loose him. That’s when I saw the column where you invited the early aged widows & got to know about your kind contribution. I know what I was thinking is not correct, but I had no option. He was in hospital that time”

“I have decided myself to give a try there. If I could get it, that will help me to save Rajesh. If not, no harm. And you know what happened there. The money you gave has not only helped to save his life, but to treat his spinal cord as well. Doctors assured me that he can get back to his normal life in one year.”

Aparna is listening to her silently without making any comment.

“I know, you will hate me now. You had a very good intention of helping a widow who is in need. But that has reached into wrong hands and used for a different cause. But, believe me; except that he is alive, everything else was correct from what I spoke. I did face same problems that a widow faces since last one year having him on bed”

Aparna is still continuing her silence. Kavitha is more apprehensive now.

“I’m…I’m really sorry. I cheated on you. I will repay the money that I got from you, please give us sometime. In one year, Rajesh will be alright. We both can work. We will repay your money in small amounts. Please….Please forgive us”, Kavitha crashed herself on Aparna’s legs.

There is no response from Aparna. She quickly turned back and walked towards the supermarket where she parked the car. Kavitha is in deep shock. She started to feel energy less and sat back.

After a week, Kavitha received a letter to the factory she is working in. She could not guess who it is, and started to read.

“Kavitha, This is Aparna. Hope you remember me. You may be wondering why I have to write this letter when I know your house and can meet you. But, I do not want to disturb you again. I apologize for my behavior on that day. I did not know how to respond, so, I returned back with out saying anything. But after coming home and thinking for all these days, I strongly feel what you have done is correct”

“My intention to conduct that meet was to fill in hope among the widows & create the interest in making life. I think it is fulfilled. For the meeting that was conducted yesterday as a follow up to the first one, I heard from majority of women that they have developed the hope and giving the positive gaze at life. They are more confident now. They are accepting the life and making plans for tomorrow. They are not blaming the past. I know, you are the inspiration to them. So, in that aspect you helped me meeting my purpose”

“About the money you want to repay, I cannot accept it. I wanted to give that money to create hope among the widows, which is done by you. More over, I wanted to help a widow, but that money helped you from becoming one among them. I’m very happy about it. Do not be worried to pay the money, please use it for the wonderful kids you are going to get. I wish you all the best for the rest of your life”

“I would definitely want to get in touch with you, I am giving my phone no here. So if you would like to, you can always contact me”

“Once again, All the Very Best & Have a happy life together”

-Aparna

After reading the letter, Kavitha busted into tears which she did not do since the day she lost her parents. Archana is worried and hurriedly took the letter from Kavitha and read. She could not control herself and hugged her friend. Everyone in the factory were starring at both the friends. But, that’s what the life is....

*** THE END ***

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Shastri : By Swathi T

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holding_hands_by_knightrazor1




Shastri got up as usual sharp at 7 AM in the morning. Changed himself into a track suit and went out for jogging. While jogging Shastri used to observe the world around him.. mothers standing along with their kids waiting for the school bus, milkman going to different houses and delivering milk, men waving hands to their wives while going to work….After an hour of jogging he came back to his empty home….Its been 25yrs since he waved his wife while going to work.

Shastri, 55yr old man, lost his wife Radha while delivering their only daughter. Life has not been same since then for Shastri. Bringing up a daughter alone without mother was a tough job. Shastri didn’t come in terms with his wife’s untimely death for a long long time and often thought he was responsible for her death. Doctors told him that Radha’s pregnancy might have some complication from the very beginning. He wished that Radha would have aborted the child in the beginning itself but Radha wanted the child very badly and Shastri couldn’t say no. Shastri’s daughter Archana almost grew up on her own without much attention from Shastri. Shastri gave enough freedom to his daughter and never restricted her much thinking that she is a child without a mother and left her to the way she was happy. Lot of his friend suggested Shastri to marry again but he was not able to make his heart for another woman and also he was scared about the other woman’s behavior with Archana. He wanted to live his life with memories of Radha and bringing up Archana.



One day after coming back from the work he found a note on his bed. He opened it and started reading

Daddy,
By the time you read this letter, I might have already got married with Ajay. I know you don’t like Ajay but I cant live without him. Please don’t try to search for me. I am 18yrs old and I have got full rights to marry the man I like. Takecare of yourself.
Archana.

Shastri fell down on the bed with the letter. The only reason for his living has gone. Archana expressed her interest in Ajay to him but Shastri wanted her to wait as she was very young for marriage and Ajay didn’t had any job and was still a student. He often thought that had Radha been alive she would have never brought up Archana this way.

Since last 7years Shastri lived alone at his home. He felt that Archana might come back one day realizing her mistake but she never did and he hoped she is happy wherever she was.

After coming home Shastri did his meditation for another half an hour. Then bathed and did his daily Pooja. Later went to kitchen, made himself a toast and ate. Finally at 9:30 AM he left home for work. That was his daily routine.

Shastri had his own printing business. During past 7yrs he often tried to suicide but stopped himself thinking about the life of workers working in his company. They all have been with him since last 30 yrs and he cant snatch their bread and butter from them. In a way his workers have become his family. He often felt at home whenever he was at work. Everybody in his company respected him a lot.

He had the habit of having tea as soon as he reached office. That day Chotu came and kept his glass of tea as usual on his table. Shastri was reading something and while taking his pen from the pen stand his hand stuck the tea glass and spilled on the newspaper. He hurriedly removed the newspaper’s first page and cleaned his desk. Chotu brought one more glass of tea for Shastri. While having tea Shastri’s eyes fell on one of the ad in the matrimonial section of the paper.

It was in bold letters right in the middle of the paper.

Are you looking for a good family?
We can provide you one. Looking for a groom who must be more than 45 years old. Caste No Bar. Widowers or Innocent Divorcees are welcome. Groom should be well mannered and from a respectable family. Contact on 11-23417894.

His eyes were fixated on that ad for a while and the sentence “Are you looking for a good family?” lingered in his mind for a long time. He was also amused at the same time that why does this family looking for aged grooms? What could be reason? For 2-3 weeks that ad came in the newspaper every day and he couldn’t control himself from not looking at the matrimonial section.

One day while having dinner alone at his home he got an urge to call that number in the newspaper. More than the prospect of marriage, he was more attracted to the word marriage. Radha’s memories never left him even for a single day but as he was getting older he wanted some companion someone to look forward while coming back home. Next day in the morning he called up that number.

“Hello “ said Shastri with nervous tone.

“Hello Shankar Rao speaking, May I know whom I am speaking to?” said the voice on the other side of the phone.

“ I am Shastri. I am calling you regarding your ad in newspaper for groom.” Said Shastri.

“oh yes yes. Are you the groom’s father?” asked Shankar Rao.

Shastri became embarrassed with the question and wanted to keep down the phone “no..actually..actually I am the groom.”

“oh ok ok” said Shankar Rao.

“Is it possible for you to come down to my house some day during weekday?” continued Shankar Rao.

Shastri was slightly puzzled that he is directly asking him to come home without knowing his details much. So shastri volunteered himself “Don’t you want to know anything about me?”

“yes ofcourse, that’s why I am asking you to come home so that we can know about each other’s family” said Shankar Rao.

Shastri got relaxed and took the address from the Shankar rao.

He confirmed Shankar Rao that he would visit their house on coming Thursday.

Address was quite far from his home and he reached Shankar Rao’s given address on time. They lived in a decent locality and their’s was a ground floor apartment flat. When he pressed the door bell, after a while an old man around 70yrs old opened the door with a smile.

“Are you Shastri?” asked Shankar Rao.

“yes” Said shastri pleased to see Shanka Rao, who looked jovial even at the age of 70 and had a pleasant face. He was wearing proper tucked in shirt and pant.

“Come in come in” said Shankar Rao after greeting Shastri with hand.

Shastri went inside to look at a beautifully decorated home. He could smell the agarbatti sticks and was soon impressed by the atmosphere at their home. Shatri made himself comfortable in a sofa. At the age of 55 he was bit embarrassed to come all this along to see a bride that too alone.

“Shastri please wait I will bring my wife.” Said Shankar rao and went inside the other room.

Shastri helped with a glass of water kept on the table.

Shankar Rao came to the hall pushing his wife’s wheel chair. Shastri soon stood up looking at Shankar Rao’s wife and bowed "Namaste".

“Shastri this is my wife Suvarna” introduced Shankar Rao. Mrs Suvarna looked around the same age as Shankar Rao and her face almost reminded Shastri of his favourite singer M S Subbalakshmi.

Shankar Rao sat on the chair opposite to Shastri near to his wife’s wheel chair and started..“Shastri before you tell me about yourself, I want to tell you about my family and my daughter. My daughter has gone to office, that’s why I called you today” Said Shankar Rao.

“Oh ok” said shastri slightly intrigued about what he may tell about his family.

“Shastri, I am a retired army officer. I have 3 sons and a single daughter. 3 sons are settled in US. I have total of 6 grandchildren whom we have not seen yet!! My daughter is all we have” Said Shankar rao with sadness. Shastri slowly got clarity of things.

“Now about my daughter Sunita, she is 42 year old but has a mind that of a 10yr old. She is kind and innocent but not intelligent like a matured woman. Frankly we needed some company for my daughter Sunita so that after when we are gone, there would be somebody to look after my daughter. All my property is on my daughter’s name. I want a very responsible person to become my son in laws who would look after my daughter as well we both old people. Shastri, we are looking for a son in the form of Son-in-law. Till now you are the only one who has responded to our ad in the newspaper. You can tell us your opinion without any hesitation” continued Shankar Rao with honesty and sad eyes.

Shastri dint know what to speak. He was totally taken aback by the situation and empathized with Shankar Rao’s situation. Till now he thought he was the only one with whom God did injustice but there are people who are going through worse situation.

“Shankar Rao garu, I don’t know if I would be your good son in law. That is up to you to decide. I am 55yr old man. I have my own printing business. My wife Radha died 25yrs back. I had a daughter Archana, and she eloped with a man she loved 7yrs ago never to return back" Shastri became silent for a while and then again continued "My parents died long time back. Radha’s parents have left contact with us since the time she died. I have no one in my family right now” said Shastri with tears in his eyes making sure it doesn’t fall on his cheeks. He felt at ease to speak about his family to Shankar Rao. Shankar Rao listened intently to whatever Shastri said and kept looking at his face.

“Son, I believe you. Your face tells about your honesty but still I don’t want to keep you in illusion. My daughter needs lot of attention and patience. She luckily got this job as peon in army head quarters due to my recommendation. She does things very slowly and each work has to be explained many times for her to understand” said Shankar Rao.

“I understand sir. Well I don’t have anyone in my family. I came here not with the thought of marrying your daughter but with the thought of becoming a part of a family. I will be more that happy if you accept me as your son-in-law” said Shastri

Suvarna was silently listening to the conversation and finally spoke “ Don’t you want to see my daughter first before making your mind?”

Shastri looked at Mrs Suvarna “No Suvarna garu, that wont be necessary. Looking at both you kind people is enough for me to make my mind.”

But both Shankar Rao and Suvarna insisted him to see their daughter on coming Saturday and Shastri had to reluctantly agree.

After going back home, he felt happy and content. He always used to think that nobody is there to take care of him but was elated to know that now he got chance to take care of others. He never thought that at this stage of his life he would be useful to someone and also he would get someone to call his family. He didn’t keep any notions about the Shankar Rao’s daughter Sunitha and went with an open mind to Shankar Rao’s house on Saturday.

That day Shastri was served with lot of snacks. Shastri felt more at ease this time. After half an hour, Shankar Rao went inside one of the rooms and came back along with his daughter Sunitha.

Sunitha was wearing a red Zari saree which was not neatly worn. She was quite fair complexioned as her parents. She kept her eyes low and was holding her father’s hands tightly. She was wearing big spectacles in her eyes. She was very lean but had a good height as that of her father. Shankar Rao made her sit in opposite chair of Shastri.

Sunitha was no way comparable to Radha but he could see child like innocence in her face. She didn’t lift her eyes even once.

Shastri kept talking to Shankar Rao and showed him some documents related to his business and house. Shankar Rao was very happy with Shastri’s sincere approach.

After a while sunitha broke out “Daddy till when should I lower my head,my neck is aching..can I lift now?”

To that Shastri and Shankar Rao looked at Sunitha and smiled looking at each other.

“Yes now you can lift” said shastri.

“No, I will listen to my daddy” said Sunitha.

“From now on, you should listen to me, I am going to marry you” said Shastri.

Sunitha lifted her face and looked at Shastri innocently and then looked at her father.

“Is it true daddy?” said sunitha

“yes dear” said Shankar Rao.

“yeeeee..that means now, even I will wear mangal sutra and sindur like other ladies” said Sunitha with happiness and started clapping her hands.

Everybody laughed and Shastri felt blessed.
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